


Revenge tastes sweet (as fizzing whizzbees)

by Savasta_101



Series: What's in a name? works [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Evil Harry Potter, Hogwarts Express, Hurt Peter Parker, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savasta_101/pseuds/Savasta_101
Summary: Harry Potter was reborn as Lyle Evans. As a result, an innocent breakfast is massacred by Petunia, James Potter is a little pervert and Peter Pettigrew is having a Very Bad Day.
Series: What's in a name? works [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1470155
Comments: 3
Kudos: 45





	Revenge tastes sweet (as fizzing whizzbees)

John whistled loudly as he fried an egg, some sausages and dubiously nutritious oil-covered tomatoes. “A fry-up, really?” asked Rose, her arms crossed, and eyes narrowed. “Your cholesterol John – “  
“But today is a special day Rose. It’s our last breakfast with Lyle, while I still have another man to defend me from you and…”  
“The monster?” interjected Harry cheekily, as Petunia came down the stairs, her nose scrunched up like Narcissa Malfoy, and her eyes outright glowering. Rose swatted him over the head with a tea towel.  
“Here you go darling.” she said and passed the first plate of food over Harry’s objecting head.  
Petunia stabbed a sausage, and brutally skewered a tomato. She changed her mind and scraped the tomato off her plate for their dog.  
“Freak.” she said by way of greeting.  
“Tomato hater.” replied Harry.  
“Enough, both of you.” said Rose with a pointed stare.  
She turned her back and Harry pretended to offer Petunia as a sacrifice to the magical breakfast gods. “Mimbus eggus…” and the orange juice she threw at his face was worth it.  
Soon, they had to rush to the station (‘they’ meaning Harry and their parents, as Petunia of course had ‘Far More Important Things’ to attend to).  
If Petunia proceeded to cry in Harry’s room that was nobody’s business but her own, thank you very much.

Harry sighted Peter quickly, sitting alone in his compartment and looking rather sorry for himself. His small, watery-blue eyes gazed despondently at his ham sandwich.   
Harry struck without mercy. “Stupefy.” he hissed, and the angry-looking red light hit its round target. Peter crumpled to the floor, his sandwich cushioned by his face.  
Several notice-me-not charms later and no-one would find Peter until long after the train returned back to King’s Cross Station.   
His attacker grinned evilly and picked up the ham sandwich to snack on, before exiting the compartment.

James Potter whistled appreciatively as his eyes raked over the slim, jeans-clad figure in front of him. Glossy red hair brushed just past shoulder blades, kissing porcelain skin. “I’ll marry that witch.” said James, with utter conviction.  
“You’ve only seen her bum Prongs.” pointed out Remus, ever the voice of reason.  
“But what a bum.” chimed in Sirius, and then he wolf-whistled loudly.  
The witch turned slowly, revealing gorgeous green eyes… and an adam’s apple.  
“Oh Merlin’s pants!” yelped James.  
“It’s okay,” said Sirius, placing a comforting hand on James’ shoulders. “for wizards to like wizards.”  
“But - I - Why.” He had broken James.  
The wizard looked at them with utter horror, green eyes dark and unseeing.   
Harry stared, shocked, at his dad: so small, and slightly squidgy. Sweet wrappers flowed out of his robe pockets, and a chocolate frog hopped out James’ hand as his mouth dropped open in shock. “Merlin’s saggy underpants!” The Merlin in James’ collectible card shook his fist in protest. “Sorry mate thought you were a witch for a second. Not that you’re girly, or anything – “  
“What my friend means to say,” Sirius slung an arm over James’ shoulder, who beamed at being called ‘friend’. “is that you are soulmates, meant for one another – “  
“Oh shove off,” scowled James, blushing raspberry red. “Umm… fizzing whizzbee?” he stuck out a packet of little red, sherbet sweets as compensation. Harry took one hesitantly. He experimentally sucked on one, and yelped as he hovered a few inches above ground, feeling rather unstable. “Sweeping her off her feet already James?” gushed Sirius.  
Harry quickly spat the sweet into the wrapper and crashed back onto the ground.  
“Nice to meet you guys.” he choked out and dashed off back to Sev and their compartment.  
“Odd girl, quite pretty though.” chimed in Lupin, only to let out a rather canine whimper as James leapt at him, and then the Marauders faded into the distance.

When Peter Pettigrew was finally sorted by Filch, soaking wet from his ‘mysterious’ run in with the Giant Squid and having never met anyone in Hogwarts except for a third cousin in Hufflepuff, he did not know to wish for Gryffindor. Instead, Peter Pettigrew wished for somewhere safe, and warm, where he could be shielded from bullies bigger than himself. The Sorting Hat, miffed at being woken up from its well-deserved rest, grinned evilly and sent Peter to Slytherin instead.  
Harry could be seen looking absurdly happy at breakfast the next morning. Who knew befriending the Sorting Hat could work out so well?  
Peter Pettigrew, on the other hand, looked remarkably uncomfortable at the Slytherin table with the Bloody Baron on one side, ominously rustling his bloody chains, and Caractus Flint towering over him on the other (it was rumoured the Flints had troll blood) and already forcing Peter to do his future homework.  
Harry buttered his croissant, applied a slathering of jam and, oh, did revenge taste sweet.


End file.
